


First impressions.

by HiImNotAnAuthor



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Billy Hargrove Redemption, Billy will have fluff moment, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Gets real angsty real fast, Hope you like, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, I’m projecting, Mention of Fights, No Beta, Reader is not gendered, Really aggressive sibling, Sorry guys, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, WIP, billy is nice to reader, cursing, its coming guys don’t worry, not completely canon billy, reader fights feelings, reader has trauma, reader is in a bad home situation, reader is sarcastic, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2020-10-10 22:10:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20535398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiImNotAnAuthor/pseuds/HiImNotAnAuthor
Summary: The reader slowly learns of Billy’s true nature, as their friendship grows into something special. (First fic, sorry for any mistakes) read the tagsSome cuss words.





	1. Billy

The sound of an engine grew as you heard the splattered of gravel near your feet. A sleek, black car pulled up next to you, muffled rock music pounding on the windows.  
Billy Hargrove, teen heartthrob, school bad boy, swung his door open, stepping out so he could survey the schoolyard like a battleground. His eyes settled on the group of girls walking in front of you that had slowed to a stop. He pulled down his glasses and winked, erupting a fit of giggles and whispers from the girls. He lingered his gaze over to you, giving out another wink. You rolled your eyes and picked up your pace, pushing past the herd of girls. Walking to the school doors you could feel his eyes following you.  
Nope. Not this time. You aren’t going to drool over the next hot boy in tight jeans that comes around. That NEVER ends well. Shaking your head you let out a sigh. Time to face another day in the trenches of Hawkins High School.  
.   
—————  
.   
The clock struck 11:23 as you threw down your pencil in frustration. The teacher was reteaching what you learned yesterday, because apparently no one listened, and your doodles were only so entertaining. Looking around the classroom your eyes landed Billy, chewing his pencil and not so subtlety kicking the chair in front of him. After about three kicks in the girl on the chair got fed up and turned around to give him the finger. So he smiled and blew her a kiss.  
God he was a jerk sometimes. Though You have to admit, that girl is kind of a bitch and seeing her face scrunch up after his smug air smooch made your day a bit better.  
As soon as the bell rang you sped toward the door, colliding with a junior who didn’t even bother to look your way as he pushed past your falling books.  
“Hey! You could help out!” You heard someone yell as you knelt down to collect your loose papers. Suddenly two beat up boots stopped next to your “World History 101” cover and you mentally connected the voice to its owner.  
Fuck. You looked up to see the mullet haired heartbreaker of your grade grinning down at you.  
“Hey sweet cheeks, need a hand?”  
Oh god he was so predictable. You rolled your eyes and looked back down at the mess. “If you’re going to help, Billy, then help.” He got down and placed your pencil case on the pile you had accumulated. As you picked up the last book, you both stood up, your footsteps echoing slightly in the now empty classroom. He looked like he was about to say something stupid, so you mumbled a “thank you” and rushed out before you could hear it.  
.   
—————  
.   
After lunch, you went to your locker to get your books. A laughing group of boys barreled down the hall, knocking into more than a few people. That wasn’t uncommon in these small halls. As you closed your locker, you saw Billy fixing his hair and walking your way. When he reached you he put his hand on the lockers and looked you up and down.  
“So I saw you and I couldn’t help but wonder if you would want to study together. You know, my house or yours, maybe at the movies or over dinner sometime.” He said as he dragged out his sentence. “What do you say?” 

He licked his lips and looked out into the dispersing crowd, waiting for you to answer.  
“I’m good. I’m actually passing my classes with flying colors. I assume that makes one of us. Thanks anyways, Hargrove.” You threw back. You don’t want him to think you’re some high school hook up.  
He paused a second then forced out a laugh.  
“No studying I guess. We’ll have to figure out something else fun to do. Well let me know if you chance your mind, doll.” He turned away and walked a few steps then paused to glance back at you. It made color run to your cheeks, so you spun around and decided to take the long way to get to class.  
.   
—————  
.   
The next day passed mostly without incident. You fell asleep in your third class, and someone threw a hot pocket at the lunch monitor, but other than that it was boring. Your best friend ran to catch up with you on your way to fourth period. She pulled on your sweaters and did a little skip step to keep up with your pace.  
“Hey! Every one has been talking about a party at tommy’s all day. We’re going right? It’s tomorrow. There will be booze and boys~”  
You laughed at her idea of incentive.  
“Tommy’s? No thanks. If I know anything, you’ll meet someone in the first ten minutes and leave to go ‘make-out’ with them all night. Then I’ll be left alone with people I don’t know. Ask Jen if she’ll go with you.”  
She pouted at your decline but lit up when you mentioned Jen, your mutual friend.  
“Oh yeah!! She’ll totally want to go!”  
“I know, what would you do without me?” You joked.  
She skipped off darting between the bodies in the hall.  
You chuckled to yourself.  
She’s a lot; but she’s always been there for you. She might as well be your sister.  
As your mind wandered you realized you had reached your class. Yaaaaaay.  
.   
—————  
.   
You tapped your foot as the teacher drones on about something you stopped caring about 5 minutes ago. The bell was going to ring any second and you couldn’t wait to go home. School had been so dull today, you just wanted to go home to your stereo.  
The bell finally interrupted the lesson and you sprung from your seat.  
As you made you way down the hall, you saw Billy waiting by your locker.  
You mentally prepared yourself then walked over and started on your combination.  
“Well, if it isn’t babydoll”  
“It’s my locker Billy, who else did you expect to find here?”  
“You, and I’m glad I was right.”  
Ugh. Cheesy.  
“I’m sure you’ve heard about the party this weekend, sweetie. Will I see you there?”  
He leaned against the locker and faced you.  
“You dropped your books in your bag with a loud thump.  
“I doubt it.”  
“Can I change your mind?”  
He looked at you for a few seconds and then leaned close to you as his gaze softened.  
“Look, y/n,” you looked at him a bit startled. This was the first time he had actually used your name. “I’ll make it worth your while. You’ll like it! And I promise, if you don’t have fun, I’ll never bother you again. I just wanna, you know, hang..?”  
You saw two blue puppy dog eyes staring back at you.  
“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll think about it” you replied.  
He cleared his throat and stood up straight trying to regain his unbothered persona. Then he spit in his hand and ran it through his hair, one stubborn strand falling back into his face.  
“Yeah okay, whatever. That’s cool” he said as nonchalantly as possible.  
His attempts to hide his excitement made you smile to yourself as you closed your locker and walked out the doors. Maybe you would go to the party.  
.   
—————   
.   



	2. Stupid party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I posted the wrong draft of this chapter yesterday. If you read it, just know I changed the direction slightly, you might want to re-read it. If not ignore me!

You looked at the outfit laid out on your bed next to your letterman’s jacket and chastised yourself for caring so much about what other people think of you.  
You weren’t even sure you were going to the party. It was a stupid idea. Absolutely stupid. Nothing good could come of it.  
You were definitely going though.  
By the time you were ready your parents were about to sit down for dinner. You had told your mom earlier about possibly going over to a friends house tonight.  
You walked in the kitchen with your skateboard and looked at your mom.  
“I’m going to head out, I’ll call if something happens.” Your eyes flicked to your step dad to judge his reaction.  
“Okay, be safe!” You mom chipped. It was easier to talk to her.  
Your stepdad frowned at you but seemed to forget it as he sat down to eat.  
Thank god it was the weekend, and everyone was in a better mood.  
The tension completely dissipated as you flew down the street, arms out and eyes closed.  
It was so nice.  
No one was out and you had the whole road to fly down.  
The only thing you could hear was the whistling of the wind.  
.  
—————  
.  
As you turned down into the neighborhoods you saw the cars lining the side of a house. It was lit up and blasting music and you felt the tension come back.  
You liked parties. When you knew the people. Otherwise it was just drunk kids flirting and stumbling over you. You stashed your skateboard behind a bush and hoped no one would take it. Or throw up on it.  
The foyer was practically empty but the living room was filled to the brim. There was some cheesy pop song playing and a sea of red solo cups. Some underclassman walked up to you and started dancing, sloppy and uncoordinated.  
“Hey sssexy, let’s dance”  
Oh wow. They were plastered. You smiled and declined but when they started to grind on you they got a kick in the shins.  
People should listen.  
You made it out to the patio and got a drink.  
Thankfully it was less crowded and stupid out here. Granted, some people were definitely pushing their luck on legal public displays of affection, but it was still better. A sudden roar of cheers drew your head to the other side of the deck where people were doing keg stands. You watched for a bit until you saw Billy climb onto the keg.  
He was famously known for his title as the “Keg King”. After he got down someone threw up next to him and Billy put his fists up to the roar of a bunch of teenager. Pure royalty.  
As he decided to go for a victory lap with his adoring fans you ducked inside and got another drink. It tasted like kool aid and vodka. Then again, it probably was kool aid and vodka.  
You walked around a bit more, bobbing you head to the music and having a few conversations with very drunk classmates.  
After you circled the house the second time, you were bored as fuck, so you took the door that led to the side porch. When you got out there you saw none other than the king himself, resting on the railing. He turned around and looked at you, confused.  
“What are you doing here?” He said, surprisingly well for someone who drank as much as he had. “Came to get some quiet. What are you doing here?”  
He turned and looked back at the forest. “Same, but sorry doll, I was her first.” Smoke curled out of his mouth as he talked.  
You looked back at the crowed room behind you and hesitated, when he spoke up again.  
“‘Course you could stay with me, but I’m not leaving.”  
You closed the door and leaned on the railing next to him. The porch wasn’t very big so you had to lean a bit to the left if you didn’t want to be up against Billy. He offered you a cigarette and you let him light it.  
“Didn’t know you smoked, princess.” You rolled your eyes at him.  
“Just because I don’t do keg stands and fight people doesn’t mean I some kind of fucking square.”  
He huffed our a laugh at that.  
You both sat in silence for a few minutes and your eyes wondered up to the stars. It was a clear night and the stars were bright against the black sky. You looked at Billy, the party lights creating a halo around his head. His lips were pull in a tight line and you could see his brow furrowed just a little bit.  
“Why aren’t you at the party?” You blurted out.  
He looked at you sideways and said “huh?” In the most eloquent voice on earth.  
“I’m not at the party because I don’t know anybody, but you could close your eyes and point and that person would probably know your life story.” you explained.  
He smiled and leaned back smacking his stomach. “I have to limit how much Billy they have, otherwise, they’ll overdose.“  
That is the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard. So you said,  
“Billy, that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”  
He mocked a sad expression.  
“But it’s true, doll face.”  
“Whatever.”  
You turned back around and started to stare between the trees.  
“You know, you should drop that facade. I can barely even talk to you.” You finished your statement by picking your ’punch’ off of the railing and taking a long swig.  
You weren’t drunk enough for this shit.  
Billy was quiet for a minute then put his elbows back on the railing. Out of the corner of your eye you could see his mouth open and close a few times before he took a drag from his cigarette then looked down.  
“I cant stand them sometimes.” He said, no hint of mockery creeping at the edges.  
“Then why do you hang out with them?” You asked softly. This felt like a rare moment.  
“Cause it’s what I do. I’m the king, I drink, I smoke, I fuck, I fight and I piss people off.”  
In any other circumstances you would though he was bragging, but the way he said it made it seem like an obligation.  
You nodded. “You don’t always have to be the king.”  
“But it’s better. I’m popular. Top of the food chain. Everyone wants to have me or be me. Im always hot, always right, always in the spotlight, baby.” It sounded like he’s said this before. He didn’t sound convinced.  
You blew the smoke out of your mouth into a little cloud that disappeared almost instantly.  
“Doesn’t sounds better,” you stated, “sounds exhausting.”  
He didn’t respond.  
With that you opened the door behind you and went back inside. You thought you saw billy look after you frowning before you closed the door. Spying the some Whiskey among about 15 other bottles, you took it and headed back to the porch. When you opened the door Billy had his head in his hands.  
“Bil” you said, and he looked up at you hopefully as you tossed the bottle to him and returned to your spot.  
You both drank and sat once again in a comfortable silence.  
.  
—————  
.  
You were deep in thought when Billy asked “you have any older siblings?”  
“Yeah” you said though you weren’t sure where this was coming from.  
“Do your hate them?” He asked, quieter.  
“No” you said immediately. “My brother was an asshole when I was younger, but I never hated him.”  
“Why was he an asshole?” He asked still not looking at you.  
You don’t like to talk about yourself, especially this stuff, but you could feel the alcohol making your brain fuzzy, loosening your lips.  
You sighed. “We were completely different people. He was just so mad all the time. He’s only two years older than me but we were completely different people.” Billy nodded.  
“When he’d get upset he’d come after me yelling and threatening.”  
Billy tutted and gave you the bottle.  
“You can guess what my parents thought, ‘kids will be kids’, ‘it’s what siblings do’, and so on. But it just kept getting worse. The littlest thing would set him off, pushing and kicking, screaming. He’d like, even start arguments with me just so he could get mad and blow off steam. He started telling me things like ‘your the reason mom and dad got divorced’, or ‘your why we live in such a crappy house’ or even ‘your moms favorite and you don’t even deserve it’. It was totally shit but I was young. I didn’t know.”  
You shook your head and knew you were saying too much but you couldn’t stop yourself.  
Billy looked at you and breathed “jesus.”  
You caught yourself. “It wasn’t that bad, he didn’t know what he was saying. He was just so angry.” You paused for a second.  
“I’m not mad at him. He had plenty of reason to be angry with the childhood we had. Long story short it sucked. But I grew a bit and I became more confident, started telling him off when he’d start shit. Now he respects me, I respect him. We’re cool.”  
You smiled remembering the way you ‘sassed’ people, even back then.  
“So yeah, what was your question?” You giggled.  
Billy didn’t laugh though. He was staring at you, like he was searching for something.  
Then he looked like he was looking through you, watching a movie.  
“Bil?” You asked, tapping his shoulder. He flinched and looked at you.  
“Oh. oh. Yeah. I was just asking, cause I have this little sister. I yells at her; she just gets on my nerves. She doesn’t get it, she thinks she above it all. But she’s a good kid. Way smarter than me. Plus this way it’ll be easier when I leave.”  
His eyes went wide. “I’d never hit her though. I’d never. Never let anyone hit her.”  
You understood and suddenly felt bad for exposing your brother like that. You could sense that Billy was drawing connections between himself and your brother. “I don’t blame him, I forgive him. He had a shit childhood. I just happened to be there. Plus we’re fine now. He figured it out.”  
His shoulders sagged in relief.  
“But it’s always better to have a sibling you feel like you can talk too. Who is on your side.” You said softly. You didn’t want to make him feel bad.  
He ran a hand across his face and sighed.  
“I just, I don’t know, y/n. I don’t- I don’t know how.”  
You leaned against his shoulder.  
“It’s okay. We’re in high school. We’re not supposed to ‘know how’ to do any of that stuff.”  
He took a drag from his cigarette and passed it to you. Yours had burnt out while you were talking.  
.  
—————  
.  
You sat there in the quiet for a while. Once the music slowed down and you couldn’t hear so many people talking, you both walked inside.  
“I gotta go.” You said. Billy returned the almost empty bottle to the counter and gave you a nod. You stood there for a second, just looking at each other.  
Then someone walked passed you and blinked like you were taken off pause. So you waved then left, grabbing your skateboard on your way out.  
Surprisingly puke free.  
You knew you wouldn’t be able to skate because of the whiskey so you walked back. It was chilly now, but you didn’t even notice. You kept think about Billy.  
Why’d he listen to you?  
Why’d he invited you?  
Why did he seem like a completely different person?  
Lost in thought you almost smacked right into a street sign. Wow you needed to get home and sleep this off.  
.  
—————  
.


	3. The handprint

Over the next few days you saw Billy a few times, he wasn’t seeking you out like he had been. He wasn’t even really talking to you. Like, at all.  
Whatever. He got bored with you. Not like you were waiting for his approval or anything.  
It still stung just a bit but you pushed that down and locked it in a box.  
School returned to normal and you pushed your drunken conversation out of your mind. It didn’t mean anything.  
It was over anyway.  
He had dropped you and ran. No more ‘baby doll,’ or ‘doll face’ or whatever.  
You slammed your locker shut. Why were you letting this get to you?  
You were so in your head you didn’t hear someone calling your name till they were right behind you.  
You stopped and turned around in the middle of the hallway. Speak of the devil.  
Billy was there panting, hands on his knees. He must’ve run to catch up with you.  
“You lost your hearing, princess?” He said with a smirk. People parted around you mumbling about how rude it was to stop in everyone’s way.  
You grabbed his jacket and pulled him over to the side of the hallway, out of the flow of students.  
He looked at you amused, then leaned close and in a teasing voice said, “I love it when you man handle me.”  
You rolled your eyes. “Did you need something, Hargrove?”  
“Oh! Yeah, um, me and Tommy, Carol, Susan and her friend are going down to get high at the quarry tomorrow. You want to come?”  
“You couldn’t wait for the weekend?” You questioned. It was only Wednesday.  
“Oh we got more fun things to do this weekend,” He purred. “Think of this as an ... appetizer.”  
You thought about it.  
“Wait. This isn’t a date is it?” You squinted at him.  
“Woah no way amigo. That’s not how I ask someone on a date. Trust me, you’d know.”  
He ran a hand through is curls.  
You wanted to go. It sounded like fun. Plus it had been a while since you’d gotten high. A long while.  
But, you didn’t want Billy to think he had you wrapped around his finger.  
“What’s in it for me?” You asked.  
He looked aghast. “What sweetheart? My company is not enough?”  
You just looked at him. He really thought he was big shit.  
“Fine,” he sighed. “I guess... I’ll let you have the last hit, and um, pick where we park.”  
It was little, almost nothing, but it made you feel better about agreeing.  
“Okay.”  
“I could’ve asked anyone in the school you know.” He said as you started walking out the school.  
You spun around to smile at him. “But you didn’t, did you?” You turn back and rushed out of the school, practically skipping to your bus.  
What ever game you were playing, you were pretty sure you just said, “checkmate”.  
.  
—————  
.

It didn’t take long for Carol and Tommy to jump off thier hood. They both climbed into the driver side, giggling and whispering.  
Susan and her ‘friend’ followed their example a few minutes later. Well there goes your company. At least you guys had two joints left. Billy was still talking about some party he went to in Cali that got broken up by the cops.  
“Wow” you said. You weren’t really interested.  
Billy didn’t seem to realize tho. “I know right? Fucking crazy man.”  
You could tell after the first two sentences that his story was bullshit. You blew smoke from your lungs as Billy blew smoke out of his ass.  
This night was turning out to be a bust.  
“Billy, what do you like? I mean, what do you like actually enjoy doing?” You interrupted.  
He looked caught off guard. Then he plastered a smug grin and opened his mouth like he was going to say something stupid, again.  
“Not Billy the King, just Billy. What does ‘just Billy’ like doing.” You clarified. You didn’t want to set yourself up for another meaningless story about breaking the law that ended in him sleeping with some chic and never talking to her again.  
He frowned. You gave him the joint. He took a drag and thought for a few more seconds.  
“Working out.” He nodded, like that was the correct answer.  
You just looked at him. That was such a bullshit answer.  
He frowned again and sighed.  
“I like playing the guitar. Liked. I liked playing the guitar. Mine.... broke.”  
You smiled. “Really? You play the guitar? Do you sing too~?” You bumped his shoulder playfully.  
A blush crept up his cheeks as he scratched his neck. “Yeah, I guess. Sometimes.” He looked away playing with the zipper on his jacket.  
“Cool,” you said,”I’ve always wanted to learn how to play.”  
He looked at you with a half smiled. “Oh yeah? Maybe I could show you sometime.”  
“Maybe.” You smiled back.  
You just grinned at each other like idiots for a few seconds.  
Suddenly Billy jumped up to his feet. Scared the shit out of you.  
“I LOVE this song!” He roared. He jumped off the hood and turned the music up. He started to do a shimmy dance around you. You smoked and watched him spin in the lights of the car. He was obviously making a show for you. He struck a pose as the music paused, then danced around as the chorus obliterated the second of quiet. You burst out laughing at that. It was amazing. It was fun. It was easy.  
He mouthed the words looking at you, smiling at your reactions. You whooped as he started to unzip his jacket slowly. Your laughter and the music echoed through the quarry. No doubt you were bother the couple’s ‘quality time’, but you didn’t care. He closed his eyes and swung to the music as he shimmied his jacket off his shoulders.

You stopped laughing.  
His eyes were still closed, he didn’t notice. You though about saying nothing, letting him keep dancing, keep that smile lighting up the night, but you couldn’t.  
Fun was over.  
You needed to talk. “Bil...” you said, trying to catch his attention.  
He didn’t stop, “just enjoy the show, princess” he called, his jacket hanging from his elbows.  
“Billy.” You said louder, more confident.  
He looked at you confused, then your eyes trailed down to the purple and yellow handprint on his bicep.  
His whole demeanor changed like you’d flipped a switch.  
His jaw clenched, eyes glazed over and serious. The smile was gone like it had never been there. He didn’t look at you. He put his jacket back on and turned down the music.  
You felt guilty. This was fragile territory and you didn’t want to fuck up. To ruin this. Whatever this was. He leaned against the side of the car, facing away from you.  
“So what? It’s nothing.” He said in a cold, detached voice.  
“Bil”; It was all you could think to say.  
“I just got in a fight. It’s what I do.” Now he sounded a little irritated. It was creepy behind his nonchalant words.  
“Billy.” You knew he was lying. He knew you knew he was lying.  
“So what?” He flipped around to face you, arms flying around as he yelled. “You going to call me a pussy? Tell the whole school? ‘Billy just stood there and let someone hold him still like a bitch while they hit him.’ What ever. I don’t fucking care. This town isn’t worth it.”  
He wasn’t really making sense but you both were pretty high. He looked straight into your eyes, angry, daring you to say something.  
But you didn’t. You just looked down, and took your arm out of your sleeve. It wasn’t difficult consider how big the jacket was on you.  
He looked at you confused. You motioned down and his eyes followed, you could tell when he saw it. The faded yellow-brown bruise near your wrist that had five unmistakable darker parts.  
You had a handprint too.  
His mouth fell open and he just looked at you, dumbfounded. You smiled back, sadness resting behind it. He climbed onto the hood next to you and sat with his mouth opening and closing, not sure of what to say.  
All the sudden you found this situation hilarious. It was probably due to what you’d been smoking all night.  
Laughter bubbled out of your throat before you could stop it.  
Billy sat there even more confused now.  
You tried to explain between your fits.  
“Out, out of all, the goddamn, cars, to end up on.”  
Billy smiled. Then joined you cracking up at the absurdity of it all. What are the fucking chances?  
Hundreds of people in Hawkins and two kids, with two handprints, end up smoking a blunt on the same goddamn car.

.  
—————  
.  



	6. Chapter 6

Neither of you talked about that night, but something had changed. You two were closer. You could tell. It was like you had pulled back a curtain and you could see the real Billy. He wasn’t the same jackass he was with the rest of the school. And it was really freaking stupid, but it made you feel special.   
You would catch him looking at you in class, silently communicating his distain for the current lecture. One time, he threw a very poorly drawn cartoon of the teacher at you, and your outburst of laughter probably made the whole class think you were crazy. It was worth it though.   
The next day you reciprocate with a very exaggerated picture of your chem teachers likeness to Elton John. Billy had to leave the class because he was laughing so hard.

As you were talking hg you noticed your picture tucked in the plastic of his binder. He kept it. It made you feel like you mattered. It made you smile. Later you dug through your papers and found his photo, placing it in your folder. 

As you walked billy to the front door you saw it open before you reached the handle. A tall man with a mustache swung the door open and glance you two up and down with cold, stoic features.   
“Good afternoon, sir.” Billy muttered to the ground.   
He sounded small. It made you shutter. 

Sometimes you got to drive your parents old car to school when they needed you to run errands before you came home. Billy had made a habit of parking next to you. 

You walked over and out your hands on Billy’s desk.  
“You can’t keep ignoring me. Talk to me billy. Please just talk to me. You can’t do this alone, you don’t have to be alone.” You looked in his eyes searching for any change.   
He leaned back and spoke loud. “Wow Ellie, I get that you want to sleep with me, but you can’t keep stalking me like this. I need space.”  
The boys in the class giggles as he stared at you with his fake smirk. You felt the blood rush to your ears.   
“You wish, Hargrove.” You tried to pick up your dignity but you knew that nothing you said could reverse his accusation.  
You grabbed your books and hurried out the classroom, hearing your classmates jeer after you.  
You had time to get to class but you speed walked anyway. It felt like someone was blowing up a balloon in your chest.   
Why was he acting like this? Why now? And why did he have to be mean? You understood it was just to push you away. He didn’t understand what he was saying. That it would follow you. That word would spread like wildfire and now people would think you’re “kinda slutty.”  
You rolled your eyes thinking about past rumors of your classmates. It was so easy to be labeled “easy” and so hard to shake the title.   
You arrived At your class fuming. It wasn’t fair. People could ruin your reputation with gossip.   
.  
—————  
.  
During lunch you went behind the school to the lacrosse field where kids usually smoke. Predictably, Billy was there trying his hardest to look effortlessly cool. Sometimes he was transparent.   
You walked over and grabbed his arm then flipped him, pinning his face against the wall.   
“Tell me what the fuck is going on Billy! You can’t just drop me, pretend I don’t exist like Im just some piece of garbage. At least tell me you don’t want to talk to me anymore. You owe me that!”, you yelled at him.   
He pushed off the wall, sending you down onto the grass. He turned around looming over you, face screwed in anger.   
“I don’t owe you shit!” He boomed, hands raised.   
You immediately felt the urge to shrink in on yourself, but beside that, you knew he was just trying to scare you. He was trying to push you away, again.   
“What are you going to do billy? You gonna hit me? Go ahead. Hit me. You won’t be the first person and you sure as hell won’t be the last.”  
You met his gaze and matched his expression. You were fucking pissed too. After everything, he thinks he can just act like an ass and you will pick up and leave??   
He curled his hand into a fist in front of his face.   
For a few seconds you both stayed still tension bouncing between your anger.   
Then he dropped his fist cursing, and stomped off back to the school.   
You sighed and stood up to lean against the wall. You knew he’d never hurt you. He was just trying to scare you off. But your heart was still racing out of your chest. The last time you were in a similar situation, you weren’t so lucky.  
.  
————  
.  
When you left school, you found Billy sitting on your hood, nursing a cigarette that was almost smoked down to his fingers.   
You pulled yourself on the hood and sat next to him.   
“I got in a fight.” He said looking out at nothing in particular.   
“Your dad?” You asked.  
He looked at you sideways. “How did you know?”  
“No good parent makes their kid call them sir.”  
You replied.   
He nodded. You picked his pack out from his pocket and lit a new cigarette to hand to him. It was a small gesture of support, almost nothing, but it made you feel better. Better yet, it made a faint smirk cross his lips.


End file.
